If it hurts when I say something, 

would it hurt less if I stay silent?

13 Days After..

Weird huh how it turn out to happen right exactly on the 8th of March 2014..? I just have mixed feelings about it as a whole. It was very dry and hot here in the Peninsula of Malaysia the past 2-3 months I guess. Then with the haze and sudden burning of the woods because the air was dry. Moreover with the mysterious disappearance of the MH370 KUL-Beijing. And not to forget those young people who died because of an overdose of drug in that infamous festival. uurgh too much too handle...

But alhamdulillah, for the past few days, it rains everyday. Allah knows it was too much for us to face it at one blow so HE showed mercy.. "Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?" (Ar-Rahmaan : 18)

I've been lacking in so many areas right now. Such as with the struggle to stay istiqomah with my ibadah. Seeing signs right in front of my eyes that the END is so near yet I fail myself to get better each and everyday. Seeking repentance.. for who knows when will we take our last breath. After that.. it's just too late.

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim.. May we die in husnul khatimah (pengakhiran yang baik) and with the shahadah as the last words. Laa ilaha illallah Muhammadurrasulullah. Ameen ya rabbal 'alamiin..

Sesuatu.

Kau nak, tapi kau tak hargai
Kau nak, tapi tak memberi.
Kadangku menyuluh sendiri
Mencari sinar yang semula jadi.

-rms.


*mood : I really don't know.

dah masuk 2014 dahh..

Assalamualaikum,

Baru nak update. Tapi bukan nak blog tentang "azam tahun baru" sebab ianya sangat olskool. Hari2 aku kena tanam azam baru, azam untuk istiqomah dengan azam aku yang lepas. So kalau yang lepas pun masih belum cukup istiqomah lagi.. dah camne kan?

Ni dah nak masuk tahun ketiga after abes zaman degree aku tahun 2011 yang lepas. Nape starting point aku nak cakap tiga tahun after abes degree? sebabnye.... bile dah abes degree la orang (READ: makpak, sedara mara) akan tanya pasal hal ehwal kawen dengan aku. hoh. awal2 tu boleh lagi la nak melayan.. kang bagi jawapan artis "no comment" payah lak jadiknye. and bile cakap "doakan.. insyaAllah", terus akan ingat dah nak kawen dah aku ni.. heh.

Kadang bile time emo tu datang.. mula la aku pikir "boleh tak jangan tanya? serupa macam tanya bilakah aku nak mati? sebab jodoh dan kematian tu antar benda yang dah tertulis sejak azali"... haa kan? tapi tak baik pulak cakap macam tu dengan orang tua. kalau dengan memember boleh la kot. hurmm..

Tapikan.. dalam orang asek nak tahu tarikh aku kawen, aku plak terpaksa muhasabah diri balik (untuk mengelak tekanan jiwa dan raga terhadap soklan cepuk-cemas tu). Muhasabah tentang KENAPA AKU BELUM LAYAK/TIBA MASA LAGI NAK HIDUP BERUMAHTANGGA...

Lepas dok pikir tu.. memang banyak la rupenye kenapa dan mengapa.. doa tu antara ikhtiar tapi kalau Allah kata belum tu.. belum la nampaknye. Selain itu, (pehal tah nak guna bahasa baku =.=") lama2  dah boleh nampak hikmah dan percaturan Allah kenapa sekian2 perkara jadi begitu atau begini. *senyum*